The results from this year’s Bulwer-Lytton contest are in, and the future of western literature has never looked, um, brighter. Bulwer-Lytton challenges entrants to write the worst opening sentence possible for imaginary novels in a variety of genres, and they generally succeed horribly. A few choice examples: (Children’s literature) Joanne watched her fellow passengers – a wizened man reading about alchemy; an oversized bearded man-child; a haunted, bespectacled young man with a scar; and a gaggle of private school children […]